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Fri, 13 Jun 2014 09:33:00 +0000
(NEW YORK) -- How often have you heard people who give out advice complain that they wish they could apply that same wisdom to their own lives?
University of Michigan and University of Waterloo psychologists may have come up with a solution to this problem.
First, however, they need to explain “Solomon’s Paradox.” That’s when you’re able to dish out solid advice but somehow wind up making dumb decisions that you think you’d better be able to avoid.
Through a series of experiments, Ethan Kross and Igor Grossman had participants mull over a relationship conflict that they or someone else may have in both the first and third person.
What they discovered was that when people view their own problems as if they were an observer -- so called “self-distancing” -- “They are capable of reasoning as wisely about their own interpersonal problems as about the problems of others,” Kross said.
One example of that is instead of saying “Why am I feeling this way?,” change it to “Why are you feeling this way?” Surprisingly, people tend to feel less shame and worry using that method, according to the psychologists.
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